Free beer – It’s really possible

By , February 3, 2012 in Beer

You’ve probably seen those ads, usually written copy, where some shithead marketer entitles the piece “Free beer!” Then he launches his pitch with “Now that I have your attention, let’s talk about anything but free beer. This isn’t that. This is really about free beer. It’s available, people! It’s really out there and I know how to get it. Over the next few days I’ll be sharing with you the strategies that I’ve found over the years to get free beer. Some are easy and some take real commitment but in the end you will have free beer. First, though, let’s talk about what free beer means. It means beer that you don’t pay cash for. Most of these strategies will require that you spend time but not money. Got it? Good. Probably the easiest way to score free beer is to take a brewery tour. I have toured dozens… Read More »

Do the Worm: Unless Doing the Worm Constitutes Being Boring at a Party

By , February 2, 2012 in Administrative, science

Universal truth #1: Youth is wasted on the young. Universal truth #2: Alcohol’s anti-aging properties are wasted on the boring lab worms. You don’t know what I’m talking about? Where do you get your science, not Yahoo! News? Your loss, because now you don’t know about the elephant that got fit for contact lenses, the mummy with cancer, or the detachable penis spider. And you surely don’t know about last week’s report on C. elegans, a tiny worm that increases it’s life span with a drop of the sauce. Not only does it’s life span increase, but it more than doubles from 15 to 40 days! As with any academically merited news I share, there is much more “legitimate”, “academic”, “nerdy” content available in the source article, but I’m going to gloss over all that that for an unimportant, pseudo-made-up detail: This worm is no fun at all. It hangs… Read More »

Dammit, Starbucks (Update)

By , January 29, 2012 in Beer, Restaurants, Starbucks

This is a continuation of the events discussed in  my post about Starbucks rolling out beer and wine in Atlanta (and L.A. and Chicago). You can read the original post here. Though I have many friends- oodles, thousands, bushels; measure them how you like- very few participate actively in my Boozin’ Blogging. Thankfully, my dear friend Rob isn’t as chronically passive as so many of you.  Other friends, the gauntlet has been thrown. A few days ago, Rob alerted me to a dicussion in the Beeradvocate* forum where beer-lovers were discussing the alcoholic additions to Starbucks. As with any internet forum, much of the discussion descends into circular, mindnumbing argument about barely relevant tangents, in this case the value you get when you buy a cup of coffee at Starbucks (My favorite line: After one user explained the itemized costs that go into a Starbucks cup of coffee, he boasts,”Ask… Read More »

Dammit, Starbucks

By , January 26, 2012 in Administrative

Atlanta, we’re in a fight. No! Nnno! Get… your grubby hands OFF OF ME! A back rub won’t get you out of this one. You get to enjoy Ludacris’ Chicken and Beer destination at Hartsfield-Jackson. I get that. He’s an Atlanta rapper, so it’s only fair. Same reason I- as an LA resident- get to enjoy Tupac’s mortuary, Who You Callin’ Dead?!.  But this is different. In December, intrepid boozin’ blogger Rick Kirby reported that Starbucks would be rolling out locations that serve beer and wine. As only eleven of the eleven thousand Starbucks in operation were expected to go alcoholic, hoping for one in your town was like hoping for the golden ticket to Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory: chances were slim and even if you got one, you’d be too much of a brat to enjoy it. But apparently Atlanta is the Charlie F***ing Bucket of the simile because, according to… Read More »

Japanese for Douche

By , January 24, 2012 in Administrative

I hope one of my roommates walks in right now. The apartment is empty and I’m typing away, bumpin’ some J-Pop, and eating peanut butter straight from the jar. I am a writer. This is my method. But the J-Pop is new. The J-Pop is accompaniment while we discuss one of the greatest Japanese traditions Americans have ever bastardized: Sake! Let’s be clear. Sake is Japanese. Sake bombs? American. The centuries-old rice wine that has adapted to survive recessions and wars, connotes family and community, and has strong ties to the Shinto religion? Japanese. The decades-old tradition that was invented by sailors*, connotes college freshmen and cheap sushi, and has strong ties to drunken shouting in public places? Made in America, baby (*Unsubstantiated, but google it. Quite a few people seem to think it was). Now, I know nothing about sake. Sure I’ve read the Wikipedia page and perused a… Read More »

Gluten-free beer…or not

By , January 17, 2012 in Beer

You know what celiac disease is, right? People who suffer from it are basically allergic to gluten, a protein that’s found in lots of grains, including barley. That’s why in the last few years there’s been a growing line of gluten-free beers available. Brewers of all stripes from Anheuser-Busch to Dogfish Head to small regional brewers are making gluten-free beer. The challenge has been finding a good replacement for barley. Malted barley is one of the most basic ingredients of beer so taking it out of the recipe can be challenging. Sorghum is a poplar alternative but the resulting beer just doesn’t quite taste like beer. Even so, it’s better than nothing. Beer lovers with celiac disease have been glad to see the growing number of gluten free beers on the market. They don’t have quite the same selection as regular barley beer in terms of style and quality. However,… Read More »

Booze – Invention’s creepy uncle

By , January 17, 2012 in Beer, drinking game

You’ve heard the saying “necessity is the mother of invention,” right? I’ve long believed that, if that’s true, then booze must be invention’s father or, at least, it’s weird uncle. How many times have you been out drinking with your buddies when some sort of group think mode sets in and you collectively create the perfect solution to one or another problem? Sure, the next morning it’s probably going to seem perfectly silly but at the time it seems like the most elegant invention of all time. The website seems to be proving me right. If you’re unfamiliar with KickStarter the concept is pretty simple. It’s a site where entrepreneurs can go to seek funding for their business or project ideas. In return for their support, funders are offered tiered prizes based on the amount of the contribution. It’s fun to wander about in the site and see some… Read More »

Hot Tub Drunk Machine

By , January 15, 2012 in Administrative, Beer, Vodka

“Who’s foot is this?” “Who’s butt is this?” “GET YOUR FOOT OUT OF MY BUTT!” Hot tubs are great. They keep you warm in times of cold, they keep girls bikini’d in time of sweaters, and they keep everyone sickeningly close in times of societal standards for personal space.  And on top of all that, they are hands-free and thus, pro-drink.  This weekend, I’ve had the pleasure of staying with friends at a beach house in Folly Beach, SC and- call it the scientist in me; call it the creepy friend who pays attention to stupid things in me- I’ve noticed some trends: BEER Opposites attract. Sweet ‘n Salty Chex Mix is clearly the greatest. These are indisputable truths. In the same vein, whatever part of us that takes glee in simultaneously enjoying two diametrically opposed forces can’t help but fall for the IcyHot-esque combination created by a cold beer… Read More »

R-R-R-REEEEMIX… ing Beer with Liquor

I remember fondly the first time I used beer as a mixer. Okay, that’s a lie, but I do believe it was three or four years ago and it involved vodka, Milwaukee’s Best, and a desire to be classy enough for cocktails, but not classy enough for anything that remotely resembled a cocktail (Though I’m sure there was a whole lot of fondness going on). Philistine as my attempts have been — from “vodkabeer” to sake bombs and all the way to my love affair with a little thing called Whiskaliburr – beer cocktails need not always conjure thoughts of binge drinking, poor choices, and puke. On the contrary, they can be artisanal, technical, and — most surprisingly — enjoyable! In fact, on January 3rd, with the very mission of spreading this message,, went live. A collaboration between a number of mixologists and beer academics, the website aims to share… Read More »

Yes, Scotch Can!

By , January 9, 2012 in Administrative

File this one under “even I think it’s a bad idea”. And if I’m being honest, file it also under “can’t say I won’t!” Scotch in a can, ladies and gentlemen. The future is here. Well, not right here. The future is currently puking in the bathroom. Because the future just finished a 12-ounce, non-resealable aluminum can of scotch whisky. On February 1st, a Ft. Lauderdale spirit company, Scottish Spirits Imports Inc., “hopes to have its cans [of f**king scotch] on shelves in major American markets … for $5 apiece”. Details are shady as to which markets exactly, and I’m especially curious because it looks like similar stories were running January of 2011 as well, but a few different sources corroborate the February 1st rollout (If anyone has information on stores or markets that carry these cans, please do pass it along so I can share with everyone else). As disapproving as I… Read More »