All Posts by: Rick Kirby

Boozin Gear: Rick’s Favorite Products.

By , December 16, 2011 in Administrative

Boozin’ Gear carries a lot of terrific products. They’ve got great shirts, sandals, towels, bar accessories and more, but there are a few that stand out as the best, the funniest and the most innovative. Okay, maybe not innovative but they are pretty hilarious. Here are MY top 10. Bobble Babe Koozies : Bouncing Boobs Red Can Cooler Set The boobs actually bounce. How cool is that? I guarantee if you get these, you’ll be flicking these tiny boobs all night. Just don’t be an idiot and shake the can.   Mickey’s Malt Liquor Hoody : Charcoal w/ Beer Pouch This sweatshirt was inspired by alcoholic kangaroos. Currently I’m working on a beer bong inspired by the four stomachs of a cow. No luck thus far… Bud Light Beach Mat & Cooler Remember when I said innovative? BOOM! Not only is it a beach mat which is like ten times… Read More »

Pepe Veláquez’s Craft Beer Christmas

By , December 12, 2011 in Administrative

It’s winter time in Los Angeles which means one thing for Pepe Velazquez: Craft Beer Christmas! This is Pepe’s favorite time of year. Everyone in town knows Pepe’s commitment to having the best Craft Beer Christmas ever. Now most people think of Los Angeles and they say, “L.A? Well that’s not a very Christmas-friendly town. New York is where it’s at. White Christmases, horse and buggies through Central Park, parades, blah blah, blah blah, blah blah…” Well normally you would be right. But not at Pepe’s house. His holiday parties are world renowned in the craft beer world. Every Christmas, Pepe buys out all the macro-beer in the surrounding towns to prevent ignorant consumers from purchasing inferior beer, but he doesn’t just throw it away. That would be wasteful. Pepe takes all of the beer and creates an aqueduct that runs from the Hills towards the ocean where halfway it… Read More »

Starbucks: Beer & Wine Coming Soon

By , December 12, 2011 in Administrative

Starbucks is making a move to serve beer and wine in their stores across America. Apparently 6 stores located in the Pacific Northwest have been selling alcohol for some time and, according to the Seattle Times, the service has been a real success so far. As it is at Starbucks, beer and wine sales begin around 2PM with sales growth going into the double digits by 4PM. It’s been such a success that now the plan is to move the trend eastward beginning in Chicago next year. The idea is catching a lot of flack from groups across the board. Loyal patrons are concerned about what will happen to their neighborhood Starbucks and some, already disenchanted with the corporate giant, think the idea is another misstep. Personally, I’m all for it. In my neighborhood we have a coffee shop that serves great beer in bottles and on tap.  It’s a… Read More »

Twas a Discount

By , December 12, 2011 in Administrative

A poem for those who purchased gifts last year.   ‘Twas last year around Christmas, when you stopped out store. We’ve got new gifts this year, so stop by and by more “But my money,” you say, “On one hand I can count. I can’t afford a gift, not without a discount!”   And then in a twinkling, what should appear? But Boozin Bob, drunk, and drinking a beer Through bushes and shrubs he stumbles about. He trips and he falls then he lets out a shout.   “On Captain, on Crown, on Corona and Guinness, On Miller, on Molson, on Makers and Killians!” His crossed eyes – how they twinkled! His slurring – how merry! He shouted once more as far as his voice could carry,   “To customers of old! To friends of yesteryear! Happy Holidays, here’s a discount from your friends at Boozin Gear!” Check your emails,… Read More »

The 5 Hardest Drinkers in Hollywood History

By , November 28, 2011 in Administrative

Here’s a list of five great Hollywood icons who liked to have a few before the camera started rolling. We were going to find ten but we got shit-housed and lost the bottom part of the list, which we feel is keeping in spirit with those we are choosing to admire. Peter O’Toole – “Booze is the most outrageous of drugs, which is why I chose it.” One night Irish-born actor, Peter O’Toole,  was at a pub and, in order to continue drinking after last call, bought the place outright. Of course the next day he sobered up and, upon realizing what he had done, returned to the pub and tore up the check. He managed stayed friends with the pub owner up until his death. O’Toole arrived at the funeral a few sheets to the wind. After crying his eyes out, he realized he was at the wrong funeral…. Read More »

TV Drinking Games – The Top 20 of All Time

By , November 14, 2011 in Administrative, drinking game

TV drinking games are by far the most underrated drinking games of all time. Shows you like are better and shows you don’t like are all of the sudden interesting and hilarious. Of course TV drinking games usually involve about four hundred different rules with one sip, two sip, and finish your beer categories. We’ve gone and solved that by boiling things down to a few simple rules per show, but don’t worry, you’ll still be slurring your favorite TV catch phrases. So turn on your TV. Drinking games begin now. Scrubs – Drink every time JD has a fantasy, Dr. Cox has a rant or Elliott has a nervous breakdown. The Office – Drink anytime you see Michael’s “World’s Greatest Boss” mug, Jim looks at the camera, or something “office-inappropriate” happens. Family Guy – Drink anytime there’s a flashback, a song, or a reference to a TV show that… Read More »

Beer Types!

By , November 11, 2011 in Administrative

Beer Types! The beer gods hath sent forth some unknown prophet to guide us with this document! Not since the ten commandments has a document so monumental to the human race been etched into existence. Not since the Rosetta stone has a document cleared up so much mystery and made so many unknown truths known. Not since the hubble telescope’s mapping of the galaxies, has a chart contained the directions, the means and the information to guide men into unknown territory! This is the map Captain Kirk would use were he navigating his way through beer space. This is the chart John Nash would use were he decoding a Russian attempt to use beer types to build a weapon of mass destruction. This is the divine article of beer types that very well may save America Democracy! And it was good…

Captain Morgans Story

By , November 9, 2011 in Administrative

Captain Morgans story is as awesome as it is old and who better to tell you about it then an actual pirate? Here’s a guest column from gentlemen pirate, Captain Flint Rackham. “Alrighty me sprogs, ye want to learn about the great, grand story o’ Captain Morgans? Well that be just splendid. The captain was right smart and right ambitious as any bastard to ev’r cross the blue, blue ocean. He hailed from Welsh-country and knew little of the sweet trade. Course that didn’t stop him from joinin’ up and trying to invade Hispaniola at the ripe old age o’ twenty. As a Captain, he be no lily-livered girl scout handin’ out flyers lookin’ for good pirates. The captain sailed all around the Caribbean in red silk and gold jewels, shellin’ out doubloons like pieces o’ eight so he might attract the best pirates to join em’ in his plunderin’…. Read More »

The History of Beer

By , November 7, 2011 in Administrative, beer history

The history of beer found in most places is long, wordy, and pretentious. What we have here is a concise and friendly guide to the history of beer, fit for reading on a coffee break. Of course if you want to read the full chronology we recommend Ian Horney’s book, A History of Beer and Brewing. It ain’t cheap but if you’re serious it’s worth buying. Meanwhile here’s a guide for the rest of us who’d like to be a little savvier but would rather drink beer than read a textbook about it. Brewing beer is an ancient tradition that began almost 10,000 years ago. Back then beer was a sludgy, rancid concoction akin to oatmeal.  It was really just food with alcohol in it, like a sloshy rum cake. The recipe was meant to keep grain from going bad, so that people could eat in the winter. The first… Read More »

Occupy Ale Street

By , November 4, 2011 in Administrative, microbrew

The economy has taken a turn for the worst and people everywhere are feeling the sting of a lengthy and unforgiving recession, but no one is feeling it as hard as the beer industry spokespeople. The Budweiser frogs have been bouncing from gig to gig, the Labatt Blue Bear has been on unemployment for three years now and Keith Stone is barely making rent. The downturn has even had a negative effect on other related industries as with Captain Morgan who lost all his booty in Bernie Madoff’s Ponzi scheme. As these mascots suffer, so do the loyal patrons of the brands they represent. Overall it’s a dark time for the industry that many thought was recession-proof. Meanwhile, microbreweries and their benefactors are living like fat cats on Bourbon Street. Last year, craft brewers sold an estimated 9.9 million barrels of beer in 2010, up from 8.9 million in 2009,… Read More »