Yes, Scotch Can!

File this one under “even I think it’s a bad idea”. And if I’m being honest, file it also under “can’t say I won’t!”

Scotch in a can, ladies and gentlemen. The future is here. Well, not right here. The future is currently puking in the bathroom. Because the future just finished a 12-ounce, non-resealable aluminum can of scotch whisky.

On February 1st, a Ft. Lauderdale spirit company, Scottish Spirits Imports Inc., “hopes to have its cans [of f**king scotch] on shelves in major American markets … for $5 apiece”. Details are shady as to which markets exactly, and I’m especially curious because it looks like similar stories were running January of 2011 as well, but a few different sources corroborate the February 1st rollout (If anyone has information on stores or markets that carry these cans, please do pass it along so I can share with everyone else).

As disapproving as I may sound, I can’t say I’m not giddy at the idea of having a scotch receptacle that snugly fits into my favorite koozie. Thus, I have compiled a list of other alcohol-container combinations that I can only hope SSI might turn to next.

1. Rum in a tube.

2. Beer in a shoe.

3. Absinthe in a box (with a fox).

4. Gin in a stranger’s armpit.

5. PBR in a Tecate (For when you want to look like a hipster, but drink like a hipster).

6. Vodka in a resealed can of Wal-Mart brand tuna fish.

7. Everclear in a urinal (urinal cake removed).

8. Everclear in a urinal (now with urinal cake for a smoother finish!).

9. Bourbon in an empty jar of peanut butter that still has some gunk in the nooks.

10. Energy in a colorful, fruit-flavored malt liquor drink. Oh, wait-


~Don Julian



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