Boozin’ Blog

Have I told you about my buddy, Dwayne? Probably not since I just made him up.

See, Dwayne is an old drinking buddy of mine. He’s great to take along when I go out drinking because I never have to pick up his tab. He also drinks very little so if I find myself enjoying the juice a little too much, he can drive.

Also, he asks great, pithy questions that allow me to pull on my vast store of knowledge about alcohol. This is a great topic to be an expert on because the more you and your audience drink, the more credible the bullshit you’re pulling out of your ass seems.

It’s of little consequence that Dwayne is entirely fictitious. In fact, it can be quite useful to have an imaginary friend like him at times. Like right now - which is a big reason that I invented him just now - because when one talks about Cinco de Mayo as a holiday it takes a great deal of reality suspension.

Think about texmex. Dwayne calls you up and says let’s go out for some Mexican and a few beers. You probably don’t think of actual Mexican cuisine, you think of that food that came out of the Mexican American clash of cultures - texmex. So is true of Cinco de Mayo. Unlike Dwayne, Cinco de Mayo as a holiday isn’t entirely fictitious but it’s close enough.

The day remembers the unlikely victory of the Mexican army over the French back in 1862. It is an unofficial holiday and the limited celebrations happen only in one corner of the country.

Not so here in the US. At some point, someone, probably a beer marketer, noticed this holiday that sort of feels like Mexican Independence Day to an American - victory over a more powerful European foe named for the day and month on which it occurred - was happening right on the cusp of summer. What a great time to sell a lot of beer.

I’m not knocking this kind of genesis of a holiday. St. Patrick’s Day happened in much the same way and I celebrate it and my tenuous claim on an Irish heritage with much vigor every year. These days, St. Paddy’s is celebrated in Ireland just as enthusiastically as it is in Boston. I won’t be surprised to see the same thing happen with Cinco de Mayo. Each year, the day seems to get more attention here in the US, no doubt our interpretation of the day will begin to infect Mexican culture. I mean, given the choice between accepting a reason to drink and party and denying it, most level headed people will choose the party.

Dwayne tells me to shut the hell up and get on with it. Okay, so over the next few weeks, we’ll be looking to ways to drink like a Mexican on Cinco de Mayo. As I pointed out above, not a lot of Mexicans really observe the day so let’s call this the texmex version. When I say drink like a Mexican, I really mean to drink like we think the Mexicans drink.

Got it? Good.

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Boozin’ Gear is always looking for more branded clothes for you to add to your collection. Recently Patrón Tequila gear joined the list of brands available. As welcome to the new addition I offer the following tequila drink recipes – all perfect for these hot summer days.

First, naturally, is the margarita:

You’ll need:
Tequila
Triple sec
Sour or Margarita mix
Ice cubes
Lemon and/or lime
Salt

To make it you’ll need to:
Pour 1 ½ oz tequila, ½ oz triple sec, 3 oz of the mix into a shaker with a cup of ice cubes. Reserve a wedge of the citrus for garnish and squeeze the rest into the shaker. Shake well. Salt the rim of your margarita glass, pour in the margarita and ice, garnish and serve.

For a frozen margarita assemble the same ingredients in a blender and blend.

Some variations on the traditional margarita include frozen apple (replace the triple sec and citrus juice with apple brandy and apple sauce and blend), frozen Hawaiian (replace the lemon and lime with strawberries and pineapple and blend) peach (add peach schnapps and peaches), and whatever else you can dream up.

But tequila drinks aren’t limited to margaritas.

Try a paloma. Simply add 2 oz. blanco or reposada tequila, ice, 6 oz. grapefruit juice, and ½ oz lime juice to a Collins glass. Top with a splash of club soda and you’ve got a great thirst quencher.

Then there’s the classic tequila sunrise with 4 oz of orange juice, 2 oz of tequila, ½ oz of grenadine. Mix the juice and tequila with ice cubes in a highball glass. Then carefully pour the grenadine on top for the sunrise effect. Garnished with an orange slice and maraschino cherry this is a dramatic and tasty drink.

But that’s really a lot of trouble, isn’t it. How about some simple tequila shots? OK, everyone together now:

Lick, Shoot, Suck!

And, Welcome, Patrón!

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Something needs to be done. There’s a real problem looming on the horizon and I’m not sure that we have done enough to properly prepare ourselves for it.

Al Gore and environmental activists have finally, after years of persistence, convinced the world that global climate change is an issue that must be dealt with. As a result more hybrid cars are being sold than ever before, alternative energy sources like wind and solar are gaining more and more prominence. And alternative fuel sources to oil are being produced in greater quantities than ever before.

That’s what’s causing the problem. Corn is a popular choice as a bio-fuel alternative to oil. But there are only so many farmers in the world and they haven’t been sitting idle all of these years just waiting for a bio-fuel revolution. They’ve been growing other crops but with demand for corn rising and driving up the cost, it’s hard for these farmers to say no. And when they say yes to corn, they have to say goodbye to whatever it was that they were growing before.

Do you see where I’m going with this? Farmers that used to grow crops that are turned into our favorite booze are being replaced. Barley, grown for beer, and agave, grown for tequila, are both falling to king corn. As a result beer is becoming more expensive and that trend is expected to continue in the future. Tequila will also grow more expensive and, worse, become harder to find. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before we see the same trend begin to affect Scotch, vodka, Irish whisky, bourbon, rum, etc.

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Have you ever noticed that the fickle designation of “hip” never seems to slip from tequila? In the world of booze different types of alcohol rise and fall on the cool-o-meter. Gin, once the hippest drink around, is now as stodgy as shuffle-board. It is so out of fashioned that when martinis enjoyed a revival a few years ago it was only if they were made with vodka instead of gin.

And the same cyclical truth applies the currently chicer-than-thou vodka as well as cognac, scotch, bourbon, etc. But tequila remains perpetually cool. Why is that? Well it’s hard to say. It could be the ritual of salt, shot, lime - three simple steps that are easy to remember no matter how many times you repeat them.

But tequila may have finally met its match. It’s becoming ultra chic, something that it’s never really been before. There’s always been cheap tequila and better tequila but now that it’s slipped into the upper strata of super expensive booze where there’s always a danger of a lash back.

Chic or not, the big T will always have a place in my home bar. Nothing else even comes close to the fresh, green flavor of 100% agave tequila. I know that might sound like I’m embracing the hip image but a decent 100% doesn’t cost more than a good bottle of scotch or bourbon as long as you’re paying for quality and not image. Cheaper tequila cut with inferior types of booze is good for a party but I always go with the good stuff for sipping and enjoying.

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