Boozin’ Blog

What’s your favorite drinking term? Soused, lit up, smashed, shit-faced, pissed all leap to mind.

Of course, around here we’re partial to the classic word booze. It’s concise and works equally well as both a noun and a verb. As a noun it refers to any form of alcohol from cider to rye. Personally, I tend to think of spirits when I use the word instead of undistilled alcoholic drinks. As a verb, it makes a fine base for words like boozing and boozer. As a synonym to boozer I also like the somewhat antiquated rummy.

Speaking of old terms, there’s always the classic wino. My grandfather, who was born in the ’20’s used to say that someone who was drinking was getting high. And don’t forget the somewhat curious but still classic getting stiff. Going on a bender fell out of usage for a while but seems to be on its way back.

Most of these are American terms. The Australians have us beat on creative boozing words. According to Koala Net’s Australian slang dictionary, a drunk Aussie can be described as off his face, as full as a goog, having a gutful of piss, rotten, and having the wobbly boot on. Beer is known as grog and it often comes in a pot or a butcher, both words for a glass.

What’s your favorite boozing word?

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Have you been to the liquor store lately? The holiday booze has definitely arrived.

The most noticeable of the lot are those spirits gift packs. They usually consist of a distiller’s most popular product and a couple of old fashioned glasses. Sometimes, especially with spirits like gin that are primarily mixed there will be a cocktail shaker or some other bartending implement. These are wrapped up in oversized packaging with, perhaps, a bow printed on the packaging.

I used to look at these silly things and wonder who would buy them. Clearly someone was spending money on them because every year they moved and every next year they returned. Actually, I even bought one once. It was well into January and the package was marked way down – cheaper than the regular bottle. I can’t remember what kind of whisky it was, just that it was whisky. I still use the old fashioned glasses, though. The gold print that branded them has long worn off but they are my favorite daily sipping glasses.

Anyway, back to who would buy these before they’re marked down. If there’s a boozer in my circle of friends or family who might appreciate the spirit there’s no way for me to guess if he would like those glasses. And as for the shaker; if someone wants a cocktail shaker he probably already has one.

Then I got a job in a corporate office. Employees never know what to buy their boss. They don’t want to spend too much – he might start thinking that they are overpaid – but they don’t want the gift to look too cheap. If they happen to know that he likes, say, Crown Royal they can all pitch in and get him the gift box. It’s big, garish, probably useless once the bottle’s empty, and perfect for the crap that goes down in most offices.

So, on behalf of office workers everywhere, thanks for making our office parties cheap and easy, booze-makers!

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There seems to be a growing trend in looking for health benefits in booze. I first really noticed it probably around fifteen years ago when studies were showing that drinking wine might be good for the heart and in preventing cancer. Suddenly people were dedicated to their nightly glass of Cab Sauv with an almost religious zeal.

Beer lovers weren’t far behind. Sussing out the benefits of beer was met with a little more skepticism but studies started surfacing that found similar benefits of drinking beer to drinking wine - cancer, heart disease, etc. A recent study even showed beer to be a better hydrator for hot and tired athletes than water.

But it doesn’t stop there. Beer and wine might have naturally occurring benefits but what if more were infused into the beverages. Vitamins and herbs found their way into our adult beverages. And now they are seeping into the hard stuff.

What the hell? Why can’t I just have a drink because I want a drink? In this multitasking world in which we live, it apparently isn’t enough to want to relax and unwind a little at the end of a day. We have to be nourishing ourselves at the same time.

Well, not me.

If there happens to be incidental health benefits to the beer and wine that passes my lips then that’s just great. But I declare here and now that I will not drink nutritionally amped-up booze. A line has to be drawn and this is where I draw mine. You can keep your ginseng infused vodka; I’m going to have another straight bourbon.

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The Czechs regularly win the distinction of having the highest beer consumption per capita in the world. It’s a standing that they’ve held for years and it doesn’t look like they’re going to be unseated anytime soon.

But who spends the most on booze? Turns out that, at least in Europe, it’s the Irish. The average household spends 4.1% of their budget on booze. Compare that to 1.4% in England and 1% to Germany and you get some perspective on just how much this really is.

Does this mean that they are drinking a better class of booze or do they drink more of the same stuff that other Europeans? Given that Ireland places second on that beer per capita chart I’d say the latter is more likely.

I knew that I loved the Irish for more than just their music!

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As a service to our readers in the early primary states we here at the Boozin’ Blog thought that we would help you prepare in case you find yourself sitting in a bar next to one of the presidential hopefuls over the next couple of months. So we sent our crack team of research analysts and mixologists out into the field to learn what, exactly, are the candidates’ favorite drinks. The results were a little surprising but we decided to publish them nevertheless.

So here, presented in alphabetical order so as to not express any bias, are the 2008 presidential candidates’ favorite drinks.

Joe Biden – chopped raw meat in a goblet

Hillary Clinton – Red Bull in a blue cup

Christopher Dodd – nonalcoholic white wine

John Edwards – Dom Perignon from a Thermos cap cup

Rudolph Giuliani – The Ruddy Sour-9 parts bourbon, 1 part lemon juice, 1 part lime juice

Mike Gravel – Pickle Juice

Mike Huckabee – Weight Watchers shake, chocolate

Duncan Hunter – tequila but call it bourbon

Dennis Kucinich – green tea with soy milk creamer

John McCain – beer, no whiskey, no wine…um, what are you having?

Barack Obama – black & tan

Ron Paul – rain water, the only drink that comes without a tax

Bill Richardson – Corona, no lime

Mitt Romney – iced tea with nips of gin added when no one’s looking

Tom Tancredo – Makers Mark

Fred Thompson – martinis and lots of ‘em provided he doesn’t have to do the mixin’

Cheers and God Bless America!

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