Boozin’ Blog

It all started back in college, as do most stories about beer pong. Apparently, Scott Tipton and Christopher Kolb were pretty good beer pong players. Good enough that a Danish film crew wanted to catch their mad skills on tape and use the footage in a Carlsberg commercial.

Tipton and Kolb agreed but only on the condition that the commercial never air outside of Denmark. Apparently, the Internet phenomenon had escaped their attention.

You might be wondering why they would want their pong playing powers to be kept secret. Tipton, a law student, was afraid that potential employers and his conservative grandparents to see it. Because, apparently, law firms and grandparents are unaware that college kids drink beer and play beer pong.

So, the agreements were made and the commercial shot. That should have been the end of that. And it was until Kevin Nealon had to stick his nose into it.

You may or may not know that Nealon hosts an annual cable TV show that features funny commercials from around the world. In 2008, the show featured the now infamous beer pong commercial. I shudder to think of the shock that Tipton’s grandparents felt when they saw their dear little Scotty playing beer pong in the footage that aired “relentlessly” on TBS.

Naturally, being a lawyer and a douche, Tipton, along with his closeted beer pong buddy Kolb, is now suing the TV show and TBS for the damage it did to their reputation.

I could rant about the fact that if someone is filming you, for whatever reason, you can expect the footage to soon be available worldwide in this age of the YouTube. I could make a few lawyer jokes. I could mention that I wouldn’t want to work at a company that has a no-beer-pong-ever-policy.

But, I won’t. I’ll just say this. If Scott Tipton or Chris Kolb ever offer to play you in a game of beer pong, refuse. Not just because they will probably be looking for an angle to sue you later, but because they are apparently ashamed of the game and we just can’t that type playing it, can we?

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Okay, over the course of this countdown we’ve outfitted dad’s feet, his head and even his neck. We’ve given him somewhere to sit and even given him the greatest gift of all - fire.  Let’s give him some games. Now that he has all this stuff, shouldn’t he have something fun to do, too?

First, we have darts. These lovely sets come branded with Jack Daniels or XXX Tequila. Perfect for dad’s man hole be it a full bar in the basement or the corner of the garage where he keeps his tools. Trust me, dads like nothing better than to gather with their buddies with a few drinks and fling sharp objects at the wall. The entire pub industry is based on this fact.

Or, maybe dad still loves a rousing game of beer pong from the old college days. Have we got the beer pong equipment for you! From a regulation table to inflatable beer pong rafts for use in the pool to tee shirts declaring the wearer’s love of the game.

But, for god’s sake, get your dad a game. It’s going to be a whole ‘nother year before Father’s Day rolls around again!

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You probably remember a few months ago when every news organization on the planet was fooled for a day by a spoof report that blamed beer pong for the spread of STDs on college campuses. Well, this time it doesn’t seem like a joke.

The big worry now is swine flu – you know, that flu bug with a nasty name that is, therefore, more dangerous. It seems that after playing beer pong one weekend a handful of students caught the bug so the Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute is asking students to knock it off.

So what’s the answer? How can we keep the pong going but protect ourselves from the H1N1 virus?

How about a drop of hand sanitizer in each glass? Personally, I hate this stuff. I’d rather find the nearest bathroom if I feel I need a wash. But in little cups of beer could it be that bad? Yes, it probably could!

A personal drinking cup from which the receiving player would chug their beer whenever their opponent scored? I don’t know if the word elegant can really be applied to beer pong but this seems to be a perfectly inelegant solution.

Fortify the beer with shots of bourbon? Now we might be onto something. With most bourbon having 40% to 50% alcohol one can assume that it has at least the equivalent sanitizing power of Purell without the nasty aftertaste. And it would certainly make the game more interesting!

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As you know we love our beer pong here at the Boozin’ Blog. So we were excited to hear about the beer pong national tour sponsored by the same folks who put on the annual World Series of Beer Pong (WSOBP).

The 2009 BPONG Tour is in conjunction master tailgater Jay DiEugenio, The TailGate Guy. The tour will feature beer pong tables set up next to Jay’s encampments at sports events across the nation. Besides just being a chase to play beer pong, the tour will offer entrents the chance to win paid entrance to the WSOBP this January.

The tour kicks off at the end of this month at Seafair in Seattle and will run until the WSOBP.

You can get more information about the tour at BPONG’s website.

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Remember a few weeks ago when that fake news story about herpes and beer pong was misinterpreted as real? Suddenly everyone was talking about how beer pong players were at risk of catching any number of VDs from their sport. Well, we now know that one isn’t at significantly higher risk of catching a disease from lofting ping pong balls into cups of beer but there is a chance of death.

Yup, death.

A recent game of Beirut led to a fatal shooting when Joseph B. Jimenez and Scott Riley began arguing. It’s not clear what point of the game they argued over. Nevertheless, they wound up in a nearby alley where they continued to argue and, finally, Jimenez, pulled a gun and shot Riley in the throat.

Over beer pong.

Beer pong.

It would be pointless for me to call this absolutely stupid. No doubt we all agree on that, even Jimenez. Getting so worked up over a game that you’re willing to shoot someone is clearly the act of someone who needs to work on his critical thinking skills. But I think that the really dumb decision happened much earlier in the evening.

Let’s think about the game of beer pong for a moment. It’s fun, right? But it’s also a game with many different interpretations of the rules. It is also highly competitive and strategies often focus on trash talking the other player. Add that the to the copious amounts of alcohol that can sometimes be consumed during play and you have the potential for tempers to flair. Indeed, this might be the first beer pong fatality but it is hardly the first time a fight broke out over a game.

No doubt Jimenez had played before so he knew all of these things. So why the hell did he bring a gun to the game? Here was the really stupid decision that he made that evening. When you are entering into a situation that may bring out your temper and, at the same time, lower you capacity for good judgment leave the damn gun at home!

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When I first saw this story about the Center for Disease Control warning against the spread of herpes caused by beer pong it just seemed a little silly to me. Now it’s a confirmed hoax.

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The tables are folded up, the leftover beer dumped out and the floors mopped. This year’s World Series of Beer Pong is over and a new champion reigns.

The team Smashing Time dominated the competition and walked away with $50,000 in prize money and lifetime bragging rights. Smashing Time is Ron Hamilton and Michael Popielarski, both of New York. Hamilton talked to the AP and said that his goals were “getting real drunk and my partner not missing, and us coming out and proving we’re the best.” Apparently he accomplished all three goals.

This is the fourth year the WSOBP has been held and it shows no sign of slowing down. Sponsored by Pabst Blue Ribbon, it attracted more than 400 teams this year.

Also, and I’m not sure how this missed my attention, but there’s a new documentary out about beer pong called “Last Cup: Road to the World Series of Beer Pong.” You can learn more about it at http://www.lastcupmovie.com/ or check out the trailer.

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No doubt the results will affect many of us deeply once the votes are counted and the nation – even the world – has to find a way to deal with the outcome.

I mean, this must be decided – is it called beer pong or Beirut? A poll has been put up at CollegeHumor.com to resolve this most important issue.

Sure, Beirut has a classy flare but beer pong has a beautiful sort of utilitarianism.

And this isn’t the only dispute that this poll seeks to resolve. It also addresses issues such as 6 cup vs. 10 or 12, bounce rules, body parts on tables, and can girls blow out spinning balls. These are indeed important issues.

OK, so this will resolve nothing. The poll has been up for a while now with about one quarter of the votes going to Beirut and the rest going for beer pong. But the debate rages on in the comments section and makes for interesting reading.

So go! Vote! Debate! It’s your duty as a member of Beer Pong Nation.

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The easy hook for this story is that it could seem unconventional for players of beer pong could be trying to give something back to the community. But is it really all that unusual?

Here’s what’s going on. Brooke and Sean Mulkerron’s daughter Tess has a rare liver disease. The toddler has had four major surgeries, six rounds of chemotherapy, and countless blood transfusions. Although she appears to be in remission and the doctors are optimistic her parents are now dedicated to the cause of fighting cancer and are keen to raise money for the fight any way they can.

So they contacted Brian Roseman, the owner of collegebeergames.com, and sold him on the idea of a tournament designed to raise money for their cause. From the press release:

To support the tournament, Roseman is donating $15 to cancer research for every beer pong table he sells from collegebeergames.com. He also provided a discount on some tables to help get the tournament off the ground. The tournament, 2008 Concord Charity Beirut Tourney is scheduled for Aug. 23 in Concord, N.H., near the University of New Hampshire (Beer pong is called “Beirut” in popular circles). The winners will receive a $500 prize and the top five teams will receive a beer pong table, but all the rest of the money raised from donations from participants will go towards cancer research with the “V Foundation Charity.”

Now, to my central point – beer and charity have gone together for a long time. It’s a natural marriage, when you think about it. Beer is all about enjoying life. Whether it’s a party or a quiet meal beer just lifts the mood. It’s a short journey from enjoying life to trying to improve the lives of others.

Throughout history brewers and pubs have been closely tied to their communities. Modern breweries regularly contribute money to worthy causes from supporting the troops to saving the environment. The beer festival that supports a charity is more common than those that don’t.

Call beer drinkers a happy bunch but don’t call us carefree. We care a lot.

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We here at the BoozinGear love our beer pong. I’m not sure if a video game attempting to recreate the beer pong experience like the one being developed by Wiiware will work even on the reality mimicking Wii but I’m willing to try it. (By the way, you can try out another version of a beer pong video game right now.)

But what if *gasp* kids under the legal drinking age can get their hands on the game? I mean, it’s got beer in it. It’s even right there in the title! We might as well just hand them a fifth of Jack Daniels and a loaded pistol, right? It’s almost exactly the same thing!

Think that’s hyperbole? You won’t after reading Connecticut’s Attorney General Richard Blumenthal’s frantic ranting about the proposed video game. He’s already screamed loud enough to convince the game makers to change the name to a rather insipid “Pong Toss.” He promises to closely scrutinize the game and still insists that the game should be restricted to adults only even though all references to the demon beer have been removed.

That’s right, Dick, let’s continue to make even the mention of alcoholic beverages taboo and therefore titillating to kids. Instead of teaching them to respect what can be a very pleasurable part of life, let’s instead tell them that it’s secret and not for them because that works so very well with kids and teenagers!

Lighten up! It’s only a game and Wiis don’t come with beverage dispensers!

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