International Stout Day

By , November 3, 2011 in Beer, stout

Happy International Stout Day! What, you probably thought that March 17 was International Stout Day. Whether it once was or it wasn’t, as of this year November 3 is now the official day to celebrate our favorite black beer. We have beer blogger Erin Peters to thank for it. Erin, a.k.a. The Beer Goddess, planted the stout flag on November 3 with her website http://stoutday.com. There you can read about the history of stout and check out events in your area dedicated to celebrating stout. So, how does one celebrate stout? For my part, I plan to drink stout. I happen to have a batch of homebrew stout cooking right now but it’s still a few days away from being ready to bottle so that’s going to have to wait. (I’m hoping to serve it on Thanksgiving.) I’ll probably pop over to my favorite local beer store and pick up… Read More »

Funny Beer Names

By , October 31, 2011 in Administrative, Beer

I was talking to Pepe earlier and we were discussing brewing processes. He was telling me about the effects water has on brewing when he brought up the sulfuric aromas that come from mineral-rich, high alkali waters of Burton-on-Trent. Beers brewed there or with that kind of water are often said to have the “Burton snatch.” I had to ask him to repeat it. “The aroma. Can’t you smell it? That’s the smell of a Burton snatch,” he said. Since then I’ve been thinking of other funny beer names that I’ve heard from Pepe since I got involved in the craft beer movement. Here is a list of beer that includes a few of the most unforgettable ones. Magnolia Old Thunderpussy A barley wine named after the late Burlesque performer. It’s brewed once a year at Magnolia Pub and Brewery owner, David McLean. If you don’t believe this is real,… Read More »

World’s Strongest Beers You Can Buy

By , October 31, 2011 in Administrative

In the world of beer there is high gravity beer and there’s black hole beer, beer so potent a single pour can change the course of the planets rotating around the sun. These world’s strongest beers are not available to you and me, the average beer drinker. One must know the right people, be in the right place and be out of their right mind to obtain and imbibe such fiery liquids. A list has been complied of some of these beers. An attempt was made to find beers somewhat suitable for drinking although that’s like attempting to find an optimal hiding place in a nuclear blast zone. Either way it’s up to you to enter the blast zone or just read about it. Our advice is to duck and cover.   Tactical Nuclear Penguin 32% The name may be silly but this beer ain’t. The End of History 55%… Read More »

The Creed of the United Beer Drinkers of the World

By , October 28, 2011 in Administrative

“I am not a beer snob. I am an epicurean dipsomaniac. This is my Creed. I believe in beer’s capacity to solve all disputes between men and my responsibility to address those problems, beer in hand, whether in bottle, can, mug, glass or stein, Koozie or no Koozie. I will uphold my duty that no poor beer choice shall go unchastised. Bud Light Lime drinkers take heed. I believe in the equality of man and therefore, in our endeavor to give all men the equal opportunity to achieve happiness, we shall make all beer available to all men, no matter their race, creed, gender, sexuality, or politics. I embrace tolerance to all walks of life as I embrace my own, ever-increasing tolerance to alcohol. I recognize the duality of beer in that it is both manmade and God-given and am thankful for both the diligence of brew masters and the… Read More »

Nuts & a Longneck: Food and Beer Pairings

By , October 24, 2011 in Administrative

Food and Beer Pairings That Will Blow You Away If Leonardo Divinci was born today he would have some serious competition. Pepe Velázquez. Divinci had wine; Pepe has beer. Divinci had art; Pepe has beer. Divinci had his inventions; Pepe has beer. But more than that Pepe has beer and he knows what beer needs… Food. Food and beer were meant to be together. In fact they used to be the same thing. The first beers resembled porridge and, due to a lengthy expiration date, helped the ancient Sumerians survive the winter months. Nowadays beer is better and more diverse than ever and so is the food. Picking what beer to drink with what kind of food is a difficult art that most people ignore.  But as Pepe philosophized, “You wouldn’t wear black shoes with a brown belt so why would you eat black beans with a brown ale?” Here… Read More »

Boozinween: Alternatives to Slutty

“I hate Halloween.” Not my words, but the words of a female friend of mine. “There’s all this pressure to wear something slutty and whatever I dress up as, I always feel homely compared to the other girls.” “Untrue”, I said! Only the most boring and vapid of women wear slutty costumes for Halloween these days. Guys are going to hate me for saying this, but ladies, you have options now! It’s 2011! Betty White is a sex icon! (Isn’t she? I’m pretty sure she is.) And just in case you’re too busy to explore or discover these options, I’ve listed a number of them below for your convenience. So without further ado… ways to dress on Halloween if you feel slutty is “so ninth grade”: hot — sexy — skimpy — voluptuous — suggestive — naked — titillating — sensuous– like you’re going to the club — racy —… Read More »

Alternative Costume Ideas

By , October 21, 2011 in Administrative

If you’re anything like me you don’t have the money for four store bought costumes for Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday night. There is an alternative to purchasing four costumes. I’m talking about making your own out of pre-owned materials, i.e. things lying around the home or office/things that you steal out of the neighbor’s yard Some of these costume ideas are not for the apprehensive. If you’re trying to save money then you must be prepared to go against the grain of what is socially acceptable/legally permissible.  You’ll have to roll up your sleeves and get your hands a little dirty. Here’s an easy one you can do right in the office. Caterpillar What you’ll need for this costume: Computer chairs (the more the better) Blankets/carpeting Electrical wire Round trash can lid Green spray paint   Begin by collecting as many computer chairs from around the office as you… Read More »

The Beer Bottle

By , October 14, 2011 in Administrative

Today Pepe Velázquez and I discussed one of the most important aspects of beer; the beer bottle. The beer bottle comes in all different shapes, sizes, varieties and colors.  The combinations of which are as dazzling a variety and incredibly diverse as life itself. Pepe was kind enough to not only share with me his nicknames for some of the main sorts but also the contents of each as we explored. First is your average beer bottle. It’s often brown, clear, green or sometimes black as with a Guinness Stout. Pepe calls this bottle an “L.B.R.” or “Little Boy’s Room” because it’s frequently where one finds “piss beer.” Pepe and I enjoyed a very pleasant Corona Extra, which I enjoyed at first but then, as instructed by Pepe, spit out onto a migrant worker who happened to be passing by. I was scarred by the incident and Pepe’s cavalier classism… Read More »

Halloween Beer Costumes

By , October 12, 2011 in Administrative

This Halloween get your frickin’ rage on with these top Halloween beer costumes and Halloween liquor costumes. Unofficial Captain Morgan Costume That’s right. The UNOFFICIAL Captain Morgan Halloween costume. Why unofficial? Well one, because there is no such thing as an “official” Captain Morgan Halloween costume because the brand has something against that or something (ridiculous right?). Secondly, and more importantly, is the symbolic implication of buying a pirate costume that is something of a pirated product itself. Consider this: Would Captain Morgan really buy the “official” costume? Uh, no. Sorry, I’m not sorry but the Captain I know doesn’t give two golden turds about “official.”  He does however care about being a bad-ass. That’s why last year he wore the Captain Blackheart costume. He wasn’t down to listen to little punks telling him he needed the “official” Halloween costume. Around eleven o’clock at the Halloween office party last year,… Read More »

Boozinween: Best Laid Plains

By , October 11, 2011 in Administrative

It’s October and that means Boozinween (All Boozins Eve?) is upon us. What makes this Halloween a Boozinween? Nothing. Every Halloween is Boozinween and if you don’t get that, I have no idea why you’re on this website. You’re too young. Go enjoy the candy addiction before you develop a… well, I won’t ruin the surprise. Anyways, Halloween is on a Monday this year which, in effect, means four days of Halloween: Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. There are many things associated with benders such as this: immaturity, jailtime, silly costumes (even outside of Halloween, I find that any good bender involves some kind of dress-up). Something oft forgotten? Planning. You can’t just pop your first pumpkin ale on Friday afternoon and hope it carries you all the way to Monday. After all, Halloween is the closest thing you’ll see to a zombie apocalypse (Even when you get drafted to fight… Read More »