Category:  Vodka

3 DAY WEEKEND COMIN’

By , February 13, 2012 in Bourbon, Gin, Infusion, Vodka

“Ah, President’s Day. A day off, sales galore, and the glow of confusion on everyone’s faces as they try to figure out just what we’re celebrating. Nothing between us and that staycation but a work week and- OOOOHHH SH*T,  VALENTINE’S DAY!”  If you’ve had this thought or anything remotely like it, then you probably have a significant other who gives a damn about  tomorrow, and you just might have nothing planned. I’m going to be very clear: This blog is not the best place to find romantic advice.  There are sources out there more thorough, more equipped, and actually relevant to last-minute gift ideas. I wholeheartedly suggest you seek out one of the following: A friend in a healthy relationship, a hip parent or sibling, or any website that does not have “Boozin” in the title. Like Google. Just go to Google and type in “Why does my girlfriend hate… Read More »

Hot Tub Drunk Machine

By , January 15, 2012 in Administrative, Beer, Vodka

“Who’s foot is this?” “Who’s butt is this?” “GET YOUR FOOT OUT OF MY BUTT!” Hot tubs are great. They keep you warm in times of cold, they keep girls bikini’d in time of sweaters, and they keep everyone sickeningly close in times of societal standards for personal space.  And on top of all that, they are hands-free and thus, pro-drink.  This weekend, I’ve had the pleasure of staying with friends at a beach house in Folly Beach, SC and- call it the scientist in me; call it the creepy friend who pays attention to stupid things in me- I’ve noticed some trends: BEER Opposites attract. Sweet ‘n Salty Chex Mix is clearly the greatest. These are indisputable truths. In the same vein, whatever part of us that takes glee in simultaneously enjoying two diametrically opposed forces can’t help but fall for the IcyHot-esque combination created by a cold beer… Read More »

Seven Drinks I’ve Made that You Probably Have No Interest in Trying

I consider myself a novice mixologist. Of course, by “novice”, I mean “terrible”, and by “mixologist”, I mean “person to make your next drink”. This is because of my sense of adventure and complete disregard for recipes. For all the bad, hurtful things you can say about my creations, though, I’ve never made one I didn’t finish myself. So for your reading pleasure, here are seven of my worst: 1. Beer ‘n Wine – Great as a corner store. Terrible as a drink. And just in case you’re giving me the benefit of the doubt, you shouldn’t. This was no Black Velvet (A take on the Black and Tan that replaces the pale ale with champagne). We’re talking one part light beer, one part red wine, two parts grossest vom I’ve ever had. 2. Whiskey Monster – Ooh! This sounds like a fun drink, or at least creatively named! A… Read More »

The Vodka Watermelon: A Guide

By , August 29, 2011 in booze, drunk food, party, sangria, Vodka, whiskey

Many readers have been writing in and saying, “Don Julian! You have so much fun all the time! How do you do it? Can you provide a step by step tutorial on how I should do something fun?” And despite the fact that the previous sentence is completely fabricated, I will gladly oblige. Here is a step by step guide on how to make — the staple of many a raucous event — a vodka watermelon. PREP A. Attend a houseparty that has a large watermelon readily available. (NOTE: This is made easier if you’re friends with stupid hipsters. Hipsters have an annoying and inexplicable affinity for fresh produce, and only a stupid person would leave a watermelon in plain site at a house party). B. Eye the watermelon craftily and say, “Hey guys! When was the last time we made a vodka watermelon?”. (NOTE: Everyone will say it’s been… Read More »

Fake vodka, real trouble

By , June 30, 2011 in Vodka

So, vodka’s supposed to be a neutral spirit, right? What little taste and smell it has disappears almost completely when it’s used in mixed drinks so it the perfect alcohol for people who don’t like alcohol. At least that’s how I understand it. I’ve never developed much of a taste for vodka. I just don’t get the appeal probably because I don’t care for fruity cocktails. Booze should taste like booze, not fizzy strawberries. Anyway, vodka, even cheap vodka, should be nearly odorless and flavorless. Let’s compare that to rubbing alcohol. I don’t know about the flavor but I know the stuff has a definite and distinctive odor. That’s why this story is surprising to me. A couple of shops in the Boston area tried to get away with selling Isopropyl alcohol, the alcohol part of rubbing alcohol, in vodka bottles. Did they really think that they’d get away with… Read More »

The vodka retirement plan

By , June 29, 2011 in Vodka

We all have that little dream, don’t we? To cash in whatever savings we’ve been building for retirement and open up a business devoted to [insert your favorite hobby here]. For me, it’s a brewery. I’d love to chuck it all and just brew great beer. For Don Poffenroth, it was vodka and he didn’t just dream about it. He did it. Back in 2007, Don decided to check out of the rat race. He turned his savings into a vodka distillery and it seems to have been the right decision. He turned a $300,000 investment into a company with $1.5 million in annual sales. He guesses that his share of the company, 60%, is worth about $1.2 million. Not bad. It’s probably not for all of us, especially those of us with spouses. It’s hard to make a jump like this without a net. Don had a decent amount… Read More »

double-oh Cocktails – shaken, not stirred

By , May 31, 2011 in Cocktails, Vodka

What’s James Bond’s favorite drink? C’mon, say it with me: Vodka martini. Shaken, not stirred. That line is so famous one could be forgiven for thinking that the world’s best known employee of MI-6 drinks nothing else. Not so. Try 28 other drinks slurped up by Jimmy B. and the girls throughout 23 films. So, why are we talking about this? Well, now there’s an app for that. The Bond Mixology covers them all with recipes, descriptions of the movies and even scenes that feature the drinks. It also provides a shopping list and serving instructions. If you’re into apps, Bond films and cocktails, this is definitely the thing for you. Happy mixing! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I desperately need a beer! doubble oh Cocktails shaken its more than just a shaken martini not stirred James Bonds cocktails revealed in an app

Bar behind bars

By , May 28, 2011 in Beer, Tequila, Vodka

You know that scene that seems to show up in every cop movie or TV show where the cops approach the old cellmate of their main suspect? The guy is always still in jail and the suspect apparently shared a vital piece of information to the cops’ case with him. The cellmate asks for a reduced sentence, which is denied, then he asks for – say it with me – a transfer. It seems like every prison out there is the worst one and every other prison is better than the one in which the old cellmate currently resides. Anyway, they make the deal, transfer the prisoner then find out that he lied but, now it’s too late and the cops are powerless to do anything about it. They are frustrated but they move on. I’ve often wondered if I were in the same position – the prisoner’s, not the… Read More »

Two new disgusting ways to drink

By , April 27, 2011 in Cocktails, Vodka

My grocery store sells peeled boiled eggs. I was stunned when I came across these little jewels of ridiculousness and had to inspect them. They come two to a pack and are wrapped in plastic, which means that you have to exert roughly the same amount of effort in getting them out of the plastic wrap as you would have in peeling your own boiled eggs. I would never buy these – I refuse to pay someone to peel an egg – but, I love that I live in a universe where they exist. It’s just some how wonderful for me. To balance that feeling out, I hate that I live in a universe where these two products exist: Cupcake Vodka and Whipped Lightning. It doesn’t take much to explain them. The vodka comes in five cupcake flavors. (We’ll set aside for the moment that there really isn’t such a… Read More »

Russia admits that beer is alcohol

By , February 25, 2011 in Beer, Vodka

This is a surprising move for those of us who live in countries where beer as been regulated along with, and sometimes even more strictly than, other alcoholic beverages. It’s not surprising that the Russian government is classifying beer as alcohol, it’s that heretofore it didn’t. So, what was it, if not alcohol. Pop? An energy drink? Vodka chaser? No, before now, beer was considered a foodstuff. It’s an interesting idea, really. I’ve had some pretty chewy beers in my day. Some were so bulky that after drinking them I really couldn’t think of eating a proper meal. In a society with a reputation for having a deep love affair with vodka, it’s probably fairly easy to consider beer as just fizzy food. The main changes that will come about because of this is how beer may be advertised and when it will be sold. It’s not likely that the… Read More »