Ã¢â‚¬Å“I hate Halloween.Ã¢â‚¬Â Not my words, but the words of a female friend of mine. Ã¢â‚¬Å“ThereÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s all this pressure to wear something slutty and whatever I dress up as, I always feel homely compared to the other girls.Ã¢â‚¬Â Ã¢â‚¬Å“UntrueÃ¢â‚¬Â, I said! Only the most boring and vapid of women wear slutty costumes for Halloween these days. Guys are going to hate me for saying this, but ladies, you have options now! ItÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s 2011! Betty White is a sex icon! (IsnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t she? IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m pretty sure she is.) And just in case youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re too busy to explore or discover these options, IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve listed a number of them below for your convenience. So without further ado… ways to dress on Halloween if you feel slutty is Ã¢â‚¬Å“so ninth gradeÃ¢â‚¬Â: hot — sexy — skimpy — voluptuous — suggestive — naked — titillating — sensuous– like youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re going to the club — racy —… Read More »
You think you love karaoke? I love karaoke. Nono, sh. I. Love. Karaoke. Just a few weeks ago, I walked into a bar IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve never heard of, on a night I shouldnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t have been out, and I stumbled upon a weekly karaoke contest. I won. The next week, I did not win. I got gonged off the stage before I could finish. Gonged. Can I logically explain why an audience loves my rendition of ShaggyÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s Ã¢â‚¬Å“It WasnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t MeÃ¢â‚¬Â, but canÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t stand my rockinÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ cover of Sum 41Ã¢â‚¬â„¢s Ã¢â‚¬Å“Fat LipÃ¢â‚¬Â? I canÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t. ThatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s just karaoke, mama. The unforgiving Ã¢â‚¬Å“artÃ¢â‚¬Â. And thatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s what some people need to understand. Karaoke is not art. Maybe Ã¢â‚¬Å“artÃ¢â‚¬Â, but never art. ItÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s not an audition and itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s not about talent. If you came for talent, the doorÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s that way. Talent donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t live here no more. Energy lives here. Irony? Irony has a permanent lease. Because karaoke… Read More »
Dear Whiskaliburr, I still think about you. I think about the first time. Ã¢â‚¬Å“I love this beer, this MilwaukeeÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s Best,Ã¢â‚¬Â I said. Ã¢â‚¬Å“And I love this whiskey, this Jim Beam. I doubt I could love either of them more than I already do.Ã¢â‚¬Â But I could. I drank an inch of the beer and I replaced that inch with whiskey. After a couple stirs of the can, I had you. Whiskaliburr. Beer that tastes like whiskey. Whiskey that drinks like beer. I remember when people couldnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t handle us. Ã¢â‚¬Å“What the f**k did you just do?Ã¢â‚¬Â, was one response. Ã¢â‚¬Å“ThatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s disgusting. YouÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re really, really gross,Ã¢â‚¬Â was another. But with all the hate in the world, they couldnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t take away our memories together. That was your job. Maybe we did make messes, burn bridges, deface properties public and private; maybe we didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t. Ã¢â‚¬Å“I have no recollection of that, officer.Ã¢â‚¬Â You made these… Read More »
The trend of nostalgic beer brands continues with the return of Schlitz beer to its native Milwaukee this week. The beer, now being brewed by Pabst Brewing Co., is based on the original recipe.