Category:  marketing

Excellent Question!

By , December 26, 2011 in drinking game, marketing

I’m going to be honest. This isn’t perfect. It’s not the catch-all, fool-proof answer to all of your bar-hopping problems that I wish it was. But it’s kinda f**kin’ funny and I am an extremely insecure blogger, and to think that you might get your drinking news elsewhere makes me want to storm into your room, pour my beer on your keyboard, and go on a rant about floozies and urls (and hopefully make a dome/domain quip if I’m witty enough). So all that considered, let me tell you where the f**k you should go for drinks. “WHERE THE F**K SHOULD I GO FOR DRINKS” is a new website that asks you to simply provide information on “where the f**k you are” and, in turn, it pops out a random bar in your vicinity along with a map guiding you to the locale. Do you hate the place they’ve suggested?… Read More »

Drinkify: Your Newest Time-waster/Enabler

The hipster, techie, music-snob friend.  Everyone has one, and everyone wishes they didn’t. Until now.  Because if that insufferable, condescending wretch of a friend wasn’t constantly tweeting tweetsh*t (or bulltweet?) about the next cool bla-bla-bla, you would never have heard about drinkify.org. The concept is simple: Tell it what you’re listening to.  It’ll tell you what to drink while you listen.  And as the homepage is populated only by an “I’m listening to [BLANK]” prompt next to the “What should I drink?” button, it’s pretty much foolproof.  Once you tell Drinkify what you’re listening to, it whisks you away to another page with random album art, a random song (sometimes) from that artist, and a drink suggestion. Surprisingly, you really can elicit a response for most artists and groups- those with at least a modicum of fame, that is.  Is your friend’s indie cover band on there? No.  Is your… Read More »

Stupid is the new black

Carlsberg is introducing a new beer with perhaps the stupidest selling point that I’ve ever seen for a beer. On the company’s website, Copenhagen is rolled out with a discussion of what “modern women and men” are looking for in a beer today, “specifically the full package of design, taste and quality.” It seems that these modern women and men don’t like the bitter aftertaste of beer and are looking for a beer that can serve as a real alternative to white wine or Champagne. In other words, from the perspective of flavor, this is a beer for people who don’t like beer. Fine, join the crowd, there are lots of those beers already on the market. What really gets me about the way this beer is being marketed is the focus on design. Most of the company’s copy about the beer focuses on the design of the bottle and… Read More »

Dog Bite Beer

By , March 28, 2011 in Beer, marketing

What do you get when you cross a fire-breathing dragon named Typhoeus with a half nymph, half snake named Echidna? A nasty looking, three headed dog is what you get, apparently. At least that’s what the ancient Greeks would have us believe. You also get a pretty kick-ass logo for a beer. Cerberus was a mythological dog that guarded the entrance to the underworld. His job was to make sure that the door only worked one way, the dead could enter but they could never leave. He was a nasty looking creature with three heads, a snake’s tail and snake heads sticking out of his back. But, these days he’s now taken on the job as spokes-model for a new beer – Dog Bite Lager. This is one of those high-gravity beers that you find just to the left and up from the standard BudMillerCoors selection in the cooler at… Read More »

Gay beer

By , March 4, 2011 in Beer, marketing

That’s right, you heard – well, read – me right, gay beer. I’ll bet you never knew that there was such a thing. Well, actually, there wasn’t as far as I know until recently. And why would there be? Beer is beer and where or not you like it has absolutely nothing to do with where you put your genitals. But at least one brewery disagrees. Bodega 12 in Mexico has come out with a line of beer aimed at the gay community. The labels of these beers celebrate historic moments like Purple Hand Beer which commemorates a protest in San Francisco in 1969 when protesters left purple hand prints around the city. What I’m curious about – just curious, not bi-curious – is what’s on the inside of these bottles. What does gay beer taste like? I’ve never described a beer as fabulous before but would I this? Given… Read More »

Steven Slater’s Choice in Adult Beverages

By , August 15, 2010 in Beer, marketing

Anyone who has ever punched a clock has got to admire Steven Slater. In case you just woke up from a coma, he’s the flight attendant who recently decided that he was fed up with customer service and flipped out on a JetBlue flight. There are some conflicting stories about what led up to his magnificent melt-down, but what everyone agrees upon is what happened once he got on the plane’s PA system. “To the passenger who called me a motherfucker, fuck you,” he announced. Now, c’mon, right there. If you’ve ever been in a position where you had to represent your employer to the general public, try and tell me that you didn’t fall in love with Slater at that point in the story. But it gets better. He grabbed a couple of beers, pulled the emergency lever on the plane and slide down the inflatable slide that he’d… Read More »

Another Dumb Alcohol Ruling – Crystal Head Vodka and Ontario

At least this time it’s not in the US. It seems like our lawmakers hold the world record for irrational fear of the drink. But now we turn our attention to Ontario, Canada where they’ve banned a brand of vodka called Crystal Head. It’s cleverly packaged in what appears to be a crystal skull. That’s a brilliant marketing move. I don’t generally drink vodka but I’m tempted to go out and pay the $50 just to have it. The bottle is incredibly eye-catching and who wouldn’t want to serve vodka out of a skull? Liquor Control Board of Ontario spokesman and noted ass-hat Chris Layton, that’s who. Layton contends that the image of the human skull “is an image that is commonly associated with death or, in some cases, death by poison. It’s especially problematic because there are concerns these days around binge drinking by younger adults.” Seriously? Okay, to… Read More »

Ho White Beer Ad

By , October 22, 2009 in Beer, marketing

Now, c’mon, this is funny! The tag line, if you couldn’t quite make it out, is “Anything but sweet.” See, the point of that beer ad is to demonstrate that the new Raspberry Ale from Jamieson brewery in Australia isn’t as sweet as one might think, given that it’s a fruit beer. Naturally the best way to communicate that idea is to tart up one of the sweetest cartoon figures ever, Snow White. Okay, so maybe that wasn’t the best way to do it but it’s damn funny anyway. It didn’t take long for the ad campaign to to get some notice and, though Disney hasn’t commented on it yet, speculation is flying about the presumed impending lawsuit. beer ad disney ho white

Beer Ad Stupidity

By , August 28, 2009 in Beer, coors, marketing

This comes from Canada where the marketing geniuses at Molson Coors got in some hot water over their cold beer campaign. They’ve been promoting the coldness of their beer – a claim that is completely puzzling to anyone with half a brain – and thought that it would be fun poke some fun at their potential consumers. They exploited the reputation of Torotonians as being uptight and put up billboards in Vancouver claiming that Coors is “Colder than most people from Toronto.” Clever. Not only does it get the message across that Coors is cold – I still don’t see where this is a viable claim – plus it shows Coors is so with Vancouver in the apparent East/West rivalry with Toronto. The genius of it all is that the billboards were all in Vancouver; no way anyone from Toronto would ever see them, right? I mean, people in Canada… Read More »

Comparing Two Big Brewers

By , May 15, 2009 in Beer, guinness, marketing

I’m a snobbish beer geek. I know it; I own it. Therefore I tend to look askance at anything a big brewer does be it Anheuser-Busch, Diego, Miller or Inbev. I always suspect that they are up to something besides making better beer. I’ve softened my view a little in the last couple of years. Obviously someone is drinking these beers and I’ve talked to more than one beer lover who prefers the taste and qualities of a Bud over the latest APA from the local craft brewer. And some of the big brewers have tried – to varying degrees of success – to include themselves in the craft beer movement. The Michelob brand, for instance, made some very decent porter, wheat and pale ale beers last year. But that hasn’t stopped me from looking a little too closely at what the big brewers do to move product. And so… Read More »