Last Minute Shopping… THE DRINKING GAME

The holidays!

A time to shirk responsibility, save completely foreseeable annual things until the very last minute, and start articles with generic exclamations!

As we at the Boozin Blog are always in support of such festive tendencies, I’ve shirked responsibility to leave you wonderful people waiting an entire week for your next Boozin’ Blog. And since you wonderful people are surely just as festive, you waited until today to get your last minute shopping done. Well, it did suck. And it did make you reconsider your religious choices. And you will totally do all your shopping online next year (*Cough* Boozingear.com *Cough*).

But if you don’t, there’s another way to get you through the tribulations of Christmas Eve Mallwar: (And you’ll have to wait until next year to use it, I know. I told you. Major shirkage goin’ on over here.)

THE OFFICIAL BOOZINGEAR LAST MINUTE SHOPPING DRINKING GAME

STRENGTH IN NUMBERS
It always feels like a good idea, but shopping with others makes thing a billion times more excruciating. So take 1 drink for every guy friend you’ll be shopping with. And take 2 drinks for every girl friend (You know they can be picky shoppers sometimes!).

AHA!… AH SHIT
Finish your drink every time you realize the perfect gift for a loved one seconds after getting them that stupid gift card to that place they mentioned once.

WE’RE GOING PAPERLESS
Take 2 drinks every time the girl you’re shopping with reminds you that “This would go so much faster if you’d just write down everyone you need to buy for. Here, I brought post-its.”

POLICE NAVIDAD
Shotgun 1 beer every time you spot a heavily armed security guard.

FIVE-SECOND RULE
Waterfall every time you get duped into spending an hour at a store you had no need or desire to enter, but that stupid, insufferable friend of yours insisted that she only had to go inside for five seconds.

BOOK EM!
Take 1 drink for every ounce of guilt you feel when you buy someone a gift at Barnes and Noble.

THE ELEVENTH HOUR (OF POWER)
Take a shot of beer for every minute you’re still in the mall after they’ve made the “Thank you, we’ll be closing shortly, you really should have taken care of this earlier” announcement.

ROAD RAGE
Take 1 drink for every dollar you spend on an apology gift for your friend because she was driving you home and said “If you had just written everything down like I told you…” and then you lost your sh*t.

SHOP ONLINE. NOT WITH GIRLS.

BOOZINGEAR

~Don Julian

 

 

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